Dad of 2 receives financial windfall, pours into 17-year-old son's college fund while ignoring 21-year-old daughter's college tuition: 'I feel like we're doing our best'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 3, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Favoritism is an awkward but not uncommon part of parenting multiple kids. While many parents won't admit to having a favorite child, it can often seem like they do and sometimes that is to the extent that things become completely unfair. Things can get extra testy when it comes to topics like money, as well. It's all too easy to give one sibling an unfair amount of generosity and stir up resentment.

This is something that one dad was grappling with after he and his wife unexpectedly came into some money. While they had set up college funds for both their 21-year-old daughter and their 17-year-old son, they chose to use this windfall on only the son, causing upset with their daughter. It's fair to say that when he looked to the internet for support, they didn't take to it kindly. There didn't seem to be much of a good reason for this.

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    Cheezburger Image 10412227328
    via Andrea Buccelli

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
     

  • 02
    AskAubry ❤❤ @ask_aubry Follow And he can't possibly split the difference between his kids?
    via AskAubry
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    My son has a larger college fund than my daughter, AITAH? So here's the situation. My wife and I have two kids-our daughter is 21 and our son is 17. We started saving for college when they were born, and honestly, we were doing okay but nothing crazy. By the time our daughter was ready to go to school, we had saved a decent amount, but not enough to cover everything, so she had to take out some loans to make it work. She's now in her third year, and things have been fine. Here's where it gets tr
    via ask_aubry
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    feral meemaw @feralmeemaw 3d • .: Replying to @ask_aubry WHY DID HE NOT THINK TO PAY OFF PART OF THE DAUGHTER'S LOANS? omg this tool.
    via feralmeemaw
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    UW HuskyMetGiants @Thingskidsdraw Replying to @ask_aubry Follow Split it or pay her college tuition. It really is that simple.
    via Thingskidsdraw
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    Tvote for MERARS Judith Meyer @German Polyglot • 3d Replying to @ask_aubry "A few years ago we came into a lot more money" and the daughter is only in her third year, sounds like that windfall coincided with her starting college or even before...
    via GermanPolyglot
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    ♡ thatglitterhag @thatglitterhag Replying to @ask_aubry Of course he can't really give any Follow justification, he favors the son. The end.
    via thatglitterhag
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    MeltedBarbie @MeltedDollParts Replying to @ask_aubry Follow My parents paid for my brother & sister's college; I paid for my own (I'm the oldest). Not because they didn't have money, they did, they just...whatever. Anyway I was bogged down with so many debts, they ended up to helping me that much more later on; they felt they had to.
    via MeltedDollParts
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    Весса @BeccaBsarro .3d Replying to @ask_aubry My parents and grandparents were absolutely mental about dividing everything 100% equally among their kids and if my dad saw this post I think he'd need another bypass surgery.
    via BeccaBsarro
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    The Ocean - @mayfairlane. 3d সমুদ্র Replying to @ask_aubry My money is on his son taking the money and giving it to his sister. It's a no brainer. And he doesn't tell his idiotic misogynist father.
    via mayfairlane
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    The Road Jess Travelled @JessPected Replying to @ask_aubry What especially me off when parents deliberately advertise their favoritism - & this was deliberate as there was an easy, quiet solution - is the harm it does to the sibling relationship. She'll resent her brother all because her parents chose to damage that relationship.
    via JessPected
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    Jennie Black @rustedlocket .3d Replying to @ask_aubry the parents can help her when she wants a house or a new car
    via rustedlocket
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    T-Rexaodactyl @hakeemthatwhat • 3d Replying to @ask_aubry . Does the son even need all the money? Is his school of choice that expensive? She's almost done. Just pay hers off and by the time he's in his 2nd you should have made it back
    via hakeemthatwhat
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    • swooping is bad @HollieTheNerd ⚫ 3d .: Replying to @ask_aubry The complete lack of responsibility being taken here - this is not "just how it played out" and it's not a case of "just happened to come at a different time," they were in complete control of how they allocated that windfall once they received it.
    via HollieTheNerd
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    Chanandler Bong @amyisquitebusy 3d Replying to @ask_aubry As someone who is one of 5 kids and watched her younger siblings get their tuition & cars completely paid for, this is why your daughter is going to move far away and never visit you. Trust me.
    via amyisquitebusy
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    Jeremy Bulloch @manster2099.3d Replying to @ask_aubry It's a shame that most of the money came in "Boy-Dollars." Everybody knows that you can't spend Boy-Dollars on girls. That's how you get cooties and/or the right to vote.
    via manster2099
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    Nicola Davidson @NicolaMDavidson Replying to @ask_aubry Follow This dude is such a fool. Pay off the loans, otherwise your daughter has an anvil hanging around her neck for the next twenty years due to interest etc. The difference between loans and no loans is not just the principle.
    via NicolaMDavidson
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    QUEEN ESAH. @billa Bangs - 3d YTA 100%. "Here's where it gets tricky" but it's not tricky at all to just divide the windfall equally
    via billaBangs
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    angelfireeast@angelfireeast24.3d: Bet he's going to expect his daughter to do all the caretaking when he gets old, or sick or disabled not the son he's favoring with more money. Then he'll be shocked when his daughter puts him in home & says make the brother pay a bigger half
    via angelfireeast24
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    Aus Tiisetso to you @TiiNa_Rex • 3d they didn't think of paying off her debt before dumping it all in his college fund?
    via TiiNa_Rex

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